The 5 Love Languages. A Preamble.

Within the context of a love relationship, if the 5 love languages counsels on an effective bilateral demonstration of love to a partner, in a way they understand AND appreciate, then the 5 law languages is preoccupied with the mutual compliance with the agreements and terms of engagement that govern the love partnership. if a successful companionship is energized by affection and chemistry, a productive partnership is fueled by commitment and compatibility.

The 5 love languages are as follows:

  • Acts of Service
  • Gifts
  • Affection
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
For more information about the 5 love languages, visit

The 5 Law Languages

The five law languages are tentatively
  • Acts of Responsibility
  • Property Rights
  • Commitment
  • Constructive Complaints
  • Shared Interests
Acts of Responsibility
Critical to the success of a domestic partnership, is an explicitly defined agreement governing roles and responsibilities. I must emphasize that in the 21st century it is essential to maintain a gender agnostic approach to roles. 

Even the most passionate companionship can be toppled if responsibilities are ill defined and not managed appropriately. What is the division of labor within the responsibilities that fall under bread winning, financial management, house keeping and parenting? Each of these (and more) come with their own set of tasks and processes that if neglected can have a negative impact on the relationship.

Property Rights
What are the rules or policies governing ownership of and authority over the domestic assets? Is there one monolithic joint account that both parties use to deposit income and pay bills and expenditures? If both parties work, what proportion of each salary should go to towards paying bills and is each partner "allowed" to have a disposable income?

If one person works overtime or gets a second job, can the income earned be kept 100% or should it go into the joint account? Can one partner really enjoy the "fruits of their labor" if the other partner doesn't work? Is the domestic economic policy "To each according to his ability for each according to his need"? Or is the household a mini capitalistic economy whereby if one partner does not work, that partner does not eat?

Often couples talk about being committed to each other. Within the context of a partnership, does it make more sense to focus on the commitment to the domestic agreement and the "terms of engagement"? What good is my commitment to you if your objective is marriage and mine is to have a friend with benefits? What good is my commitment to house keeping chores if you would much rather prefer and appreciate me contributing to household expenditure?

In the modern age, the institution of monogamy is being challenged. What is the partnerships approach to fidelity? In fact what is the partnerships definition of cheating? Is cheating any amorous or sexual activity engaged in without a partners consent? 

Commitment is a necessary prerequisite for the success of Acts of Responsiblity because compliance requires discipline. What are the attributes of commitment that are important to each partner? A few come to mind which includes loyalty, fidelity, discipline, honesty etc.

Constructive Complaints
How does one partner complain without being perceived as being critical? How does the receiving partner respond without being perceived as being defensive? In the book, "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work", John Gottman identifies criticism and defensiveness as two out of seven signs that a marriage is headed for divorce. What starts off as a sincere complaint can very quickly degenerate into a vicious argument resulting in a display of contempt, belligerence and stonewalling.

Shared Interests

C.S. Lewis, in his book "The Four Loves" defined a key characteristic of friendship as having a common vision. Sometimes compatibility has to be nurtured and it may take discipline to explore and identify common interests. It may mean getting more involved in an existing domestic concern like child rearing, synchronizing recreational activities like working out or just choosing that game or objective that you can both get behind and commit to. 

I consider this to be a preliminary attempt at outlining and defining the 5 law languages. Hopefully, this might stimulate debate thereby providing constructive input for refining the ideology.